Dear Chrystal,
I've been meaning to write you back for a while and I hope you
can forgive me. I kept meaning to get some words down on paper for you but
things kept coming up and I just wasn't able to get it done. Please don't hate
me for that, I never meant to leave it so long.
I've been doing okay. I've taken some work at a bar called the
Bucket of Blood. Yeah I know, the name sucks but the pay is alright. As you'd
expect the place is a dive but the rest of the staff are cool and the manager
pays on time. I work as hard as I can but I never suspect it's enough. I met a
girl there and she liked my hair. We started seeing each other for a while but
I got scared and stopped calling her back. I don't know why I do these things,
but it happens. Well I messed up. I shouldn't go into details but I don't have
anyone else to tell. I found out later she'd been fucking some other guy. He
lived across the road from her and so I went round there and beat him up pretty
bad. I left him in a mess. I'm not proud. I had to take up smoking again for a while just to get
over it. I wonder if I should go back to find out if he died, but I haven't
heard anything or read about him in the local papers, so I suspect he is fine.
I'm a bad person, Chryst, but you know that. You were always right. I shoulda
turned myself in that time when we were on the coast. Fuck. Let's forget those
times. The guy'll be alright. Let God be my judge and let's move on.
My parents aren't so good, but thanks for asking. My dad hasn't
been the same since he found out my mother was cheating on him. He kicked her
out the house and I haven't heard from her since. I don't know where she went.
I go pay my old man a visit about every fortnight. We just sit there and drink
beer and watch the racing. He never says much, but that's okay because I never
know what to say to him anymore.
I hear you're engaged now and have a kid on the way. That's
fantastic. You've deserved it after all you've been through and I know you'll
get that cut of happiness you've always been searching for. "Smiles on
rainbows" and all that poetry you spoke of has finally come true.
Sometimes I lay awake at night, thinking. It's been easier to sleep since I
heard your good news. I love you Chryst, and I always will. Our hearts are the
same even when they belong to others. Stay safe and stay true.
I'll try and come visit you some time. I managed to fix my car
up at last and now it's running again, so it shouldn't be too hard to travel
out to you. Let me know, yeah? Write back soon and tell me everything.
Yours,
Joel
P.S., I finally took your advice and quit eating meat. At last
you can take me to that restaurant you’ve always raved about. I’d appreciate it
now. My body certainly does; I’ve never felt healthier.
