Washed-out Sunrise

The birds are singing outside
in the tree beside my window
but that does not change the fact that
it's dark and bleak and miserable
and I cannot find my shoes.

His Ego Smiles

Rear of waiter pinched his ego smiles - Mid-life crisis and round, menopause made them do it, it drew them to his eyes. Tip for that his wallet frowns but they are round - old - they would do. His ego smiles as he takes one by the hand then by the hair in the backroom beneath a table. Another in a bathroom cubicle. He turns to the till, fiddles the numbers in the hope that he'd get caught, all things and fingers in, by the chef or his pretty blonde assistant; the manager never notices a thing as he trickles liquor half full into a glass from the broken optics. Where is Peggy Sue? She ran out on the world, with no wedding bells. His shift has ended and no fantasy of filth lived out sits at the piano waiting for the boss man to leave the bar and hammers on the keys bum note after bum note, he sighs. Is Crow Jane dead? Murdered in Columbia. Killed by Mexican gun-runners working with the FBI. A little bit of cocaine never hurt anybody. Maybe it was the ATM. Or is it called the ATF? It could've been them. Suddenly he is ten years old and walking through a zoo. His mother is crying and his father is somewhere else. Maybe he's taunting the lions. Plans to report them to the ATF. Teddy got drunk, had an abortion. It knocked the stuffing right out of him. He's got no soul. You should check out his head, doctor says, the result is just the same. Kid waiter takes his sister by the hand and leads her to the monkeys. They're flinging faeces at each other and masturbating aggressively. It made him feel nauseous. Anxious. She giggles at the scene and he shields her eyes. There's no escaping the smell. He hits another bum note. I came out of Texas fresh faced, uneducated. Kicked my cocaine habit just fine but it was the china white that broke my foot. He stomps a pedal and stomps upstairs sights a fight out the window. Two vagabonds are going at it. Punch-drunk - A swing and a miss. Aimed for the wrong mouth, the other one is laughing at him. They collapse to the floor and scream to the cloud-coated night skies. Who gave birth to God? Manager by his side... rear of waiter pinched "assault, brother, you'll do ten to life! And I shall get my raise for silence." He turns to face his assailant and sees her blonde hair blue eyes. His ego smiles.