The Greatest Show on Earth

The Falls Motel was a hole. There were blinds half hanging from the window, a broken television set, indeterminable stains on the carpet and cigarette burns on the sheets. The place was cheap and cheerless and that's exactly why I chose it. I couldn't see much from my window. The car park was empty except for an old blue pick-up truck diseased with rust and a kid's slide turned on its side. It was a depressing view. Beyond the car park I could see the rest of the town that I found myself in. It, too, was a hole. It consisted of one long road with nothing but dirty motels, bad hotels, oversized restaurants, a casino illuminated in neon, a run-down cinema and a few bars beyond that. That was it. That was the town I was stuck in. I'd finished my own meagre supply of drink; a six-pack of weak beer and a handful of little bottles of vodka, and I needed to find some way of entertaining myself until the bars opened. I was hungry and I couldn't afford to start gambling. I'd have to hit the streets and see what I could find. There had to be something else to do.

"Ganja. Ganja. Ganja, weed. Ecstacy. Ganja. MDMA. Ganja. Some shrooms. Whaddya say? Ganja."

"Fuck you! What the hell did you say? Fuck you! No, I don't want your shit. Stay the hell away from me! Crazy mind controlling Nazi. I don't need your shit. Can't you tell that I'm drunk? Hell, can't you see the bottle of scotch in my hand? Hell, where did it go? Joe! Joey! Joe you stinking crack-whore, where is my whiskey? Oh shit yeah. Hip flask. Fuck. How could I for... Hey! Hey, man. Where are you going? I don't have any ganjey. Whatever the fuck you called it. Sod you, Nazi-hippie cunt. I don't need your shit. I should smash this bottle on your face. At least I pay taxes. Yeah. I get drunk. You see this booze? It's tax motherfucker. None of this illegal shit. Yeah, I know you're selling shit. Who am I talking to? Come back here you little rat! Where the hell are you going? Come back here with your damned dread-locks.  You're not Marley. You're no better than me. Fucking fuck. Come back. Don't walk away when I'm talking to you. I know you can hear me. You shit. Utter shit. You've got no soul. I fucked your mother. I fucked her in Hell. Fuck. Where did you go? Drug dealing son of a whore bitch. Fuck!"

I endured it all. Teeth clenched, eyes fixed on the pavement beneath me. I'd been in the safety of the cinema, watching a film in darkness with lovers mumbling and fumbling around me and my feet sticking to the floor as I idly watched the man's fearless face on screen as the beasts tried to hunt him down while he desperately tried to find his way out of the wilderness and back to humanity. I needed to get out of that quiet little torture chamber, but I timed my escape all wrong and ran into this nut. Outside the air was cool after a long day of hot, horrendous, relentless sunshine. It'd been too much for some and had taken its toll. I exhaled hard as I fanned my t-shirt slowly.

"I should slit your motherfucking throat!"

I stared at my shoes. I really needed to find new friends in this town. I really needed to tell this dirt-bag to shut up and I really needed to get moving. I should've ignored him when I saw him approaching me in the street. I definitely shouldn't have agreed to go for a drink with the arsehole.

"Hey, wait, I've got ganja. Ha! Fuck you! Hahaha! Oh. No. Fuck, I don't. Where the fuck did you go? Forget what I said. I need you, little bastard. Come back or I'll cut your balls off. Those alleyways won't hide you forever. This city ain't that big. I'll find you, dipshit."

He had been talking to himself and I couldn't understand why I was still tolerating his rants and jeers. Perhaps they amused me. We all need something to laugh at – something to lighten the load. Drink was good for me. Plenty of others had turned to drugs. Mixing these was a bad idea though. I didn't care. I had strolled from the flickering lights of the auditorium, from the gaping, empty eyes of the sparse audience and out into the street. I'd stumbled out into the Greatest Show on Earth. Roll on, roll up. Ganja for one. Ganja for all. I couldn't take any more. I'd had enough. I was looking for some kind of safety but instead I had found this.

"Come back you bastard! Ganja? Who cares? Fuck you!"

I'd had enough. It was all too much.

"Get me outta here!"

I moved to the edge of the road and thrust my arm out in desperation. I needed a cab. I needed a ride. I wanted to escape the Greatest Show on Earth and I wanted to get to a better party. Any kind of bar would do. Headlights shone in the distance. I knew I'd be going home.